Archives for April 2, 2013

Note to Penny

A few weeks ago, a fellow blogger, mother and daughter in pain, shared an all too familiar tale about her mothers decision to reject her. I read her words and felt every bit of angst and confusion that I too have felt by the rejection and intentional neglect from my own mother. I felt compelled to respond, to support her and share with her my struggles in the comment posted below. This is a common issue, usually known as maternal narcissism. There are pages and pages of information on it if you take the time to Google it. It is actually quite scary how indiscreet and damaging it’s effects can be.

Here’s Penny’s at Foster to Forever’s original post. http://foster2forever.com/2012/04/rejection-of-my-mother.html A great, authentic tale of the hurt just a few actions or lack of action (in her case) can cause. I hope you can find encouragement and light in these tough to tell tales.

“Penny – I feel your pain. I too have had a multitude of disappointments that stem from my mother’s lack of empathy, love or kindness. There is a term for this kind of parental hurt and destruction. I was made aware of it about a year ago – it rocked my world to say the least. I learned my entire childhood was a joke, I was raised by a woman who never wanted me. I am reading a book now called “Children of the Self Absorbed”by Nina Brown. It has opened my eyes beyond words to the abuse, verbal and emotional that I too experienced. The actual term is parental destructive narcissism. They cannot see it, they will never change it, and nothing can be done about it. Some of the best things to do are sever ties with that person. I am still miles from being “recovered” from the pain I endured, but the craziest part of all of it – no one ever thought this was a possibility. The DNP’s biggest weapon is their mouth and usually in private. I am still working through the details and trying to recognize all the symptoms, but this book is quite encouraging for you, the adult child, who is still reeling from the effects of this parent. Here’s an article with a brief snip it from her book. http://www.wmeades.com/id211.htm”
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